Monday, March 28, 2005

ramblings from the past week

My heath is improving, but I'm not entirely over this cold yet. I still have a sore throat and a cough, but no more swollen gums and I finally managed to pop my ears. All in all I'd give my current heath a solid B. I feel pretty good other than the throat, which I would give a C, independent of the rest of my body.

I took Monday and Tuesday off last week, and came in for a half day on Wednesday and Thursday. I spent most of the time I wasn't working either sleeping or eating. It was boring, but relaxing.

I played basketball with Kevin on Thursday last week. I started out horribly, and worked my way up to mildly miserable; basketball is not my thing. Friday night I went out to Santa Fe with Kevin, Karen, and Nina. It wasn't as weird going out to a bar with Kevin and our exes as I had originally thought it would be. Saturday Tim and Parker and I went up to see some more houses. I liked the first one more than the second, but everybody else liked the second more than the first and it looks like we're going to apply to the second house today. Oh well. Saturday evening a bunch of us went to a pool hall and played a few games. I want to get a pool table for our house when we move in. Skip the next paragraph if you don't care about computer crap.

That night my computer crashed, and wouldn't boot up normally (I kept on getting a kernel panic, if you know enough to be curious.) I first tried burning the install CDs for FC4 test release 1, but the 1st CD disabled IRQ#9, which meant my keyboard wouldn't work, then asked me to press enter to continue. I get the same problems whenever I try to use an updated kernel in FC3. So I re-burned the FC3 install CDs on my mac and tried doing a linux rescue, but it couldn't find my partition table; however, it found it fine doing a full install. So after a couple errors on disk 2, and some media checks (all coming back OK,) I re-burned the second disk and, after a few crashes during the install, I finally got FC3 reinstalled. By this point it was well into the morning. Once my system was booted it ran fsck, which kept on crashing and dumping me into a shell, which would restart the computer when it was exited. I ran fsck manually on / and /boot, which came back fine, and didn't feel like doing it on /home (my 200 gig drive) so I edited /etc/fstab to have /home not automounted and rebooted. I still got the same error and shell, so I ran fsck on /home which, after a couple dozen errors, finally finished. I restarted my computer and it booted up fine. So now I have to download a couple hundred updates from the RHN and reinstall all my custom packages, the sources/rpms of which I keep on /home so that when I format my 40 gig drive for a new OS I don't lose the install files for programs I install.) Skip the next paragraph/sentence/whatever if you read all that.

Summary for those who skipped over that last part: I stayed up all night fixing my computer.

I tried to get about an hour of sleep around 2 in the afternoon, but it didn't really catch, then went to my parents for dinner. Upon coming back to the house, I felt like going for a run. Now, it was raining outside, and I was sick and going on no sleep, but I still managed to run the whole 3 1/2 miles without stopping. I've found I'm getting much better at pushing myself lately, and I don't know why. I got back to the house and felt like I do every time I get back from running: tired. I expected to feel a lot worse, but I didn't. Maybe this is a sign that I should start running farther.

Monday, March 21, 2005

Sick of being sick

So it would appear that I've got the flu, or something like it. I spent all weekend sleeping, trying to sleep, or eating. I'm starting to feel better today but I'm not going to bet that will last. It also seems that this cold has gotten backed up into my inner ear because everything sounds like I'm underwater. For an ear infection, though, it doesn't hurt, so I've got that going for me. I think Nina had the same problem for a while, but I doubt I got it from her. The back of my mouth/throat is swelling up a little, which is bad news for my wisdom teeth. My mouth has just enough room for them, so with the slightest bit of swelling I start to chew gum. It hurts, but not too bad. Both Kevin and Jeremy tried to get me to drink pickle juice to help my cold. Both were doing it just to see if they could get me to drink pickle juice, and both came up with the idea independently. I almost did it when Kevin told me, since he has a bit of medical training. Man are my friends assholes.

Friday night a bunch of us went up to Craig's (of Maria and Craig) for a day-late St. Patty's Day party, which was nice. Craig's basement is set up well for parties, and his friends were cool. Not being able to speak very much (no voice) limited my enjoyment a little, but it was still fun. I also got to practice massaging with Parkers sister, who never complains when I do that.

On Saturday we went back to the house we were trying to rent but it doesn't look like we're going to get it. The landlord is being nice and is giving us a lot of other leads in the area. I slept the rest of the day and that night, and went to visit my family Sunday afternoon. I slept a lot there too. I did my taxes and it looks like The Man owes me a couple grand, so that's cool.

All in all, quite the uneventful weekend.

Friday, March 18, 2005

St. Patrick's Day

Yesterday we went up to an Irish pub near Nina's apartment in Baltimore. Nina was meeting a few friends there first and Tim, Parker, Paul, Kevin and I were going to meet her. Crystal wound up coming too. The bar was very crowded when we got there, so we couldn't find Nina. We got corned beef sandwiches because, I believe, none of us had anything to eat for dinner. Tim and Parker were coming up separately so we had to wait for them to find us too. Eventually we all met up. I have to admit that it felt weird to be around Nina in this environment. I try not to be a jealous person, and as long as I'm actually in a relationship I'm fine. It's when I'm out of one and see some guy talking to my ex that I get uncomfortable. So that sucked. Later on we all got a table in a quiet corner of the bar, and continued with the drinking. Nina seemed depressed but I didn't know what I could do to help her, or if I was even in a position to help. I think she's just been depressed in general, but I think it's possible that she also could have thought something is going on between me and Crystal (nothing is), which may have made things worse. Or, I could be way off. Either way, she didn't seem too crazy about Crystal. I'm beginning to see why dating friends is a bad idea, I hope Nina starts feeling better (if she actually is depressed), and I really want to stop feeling so weird about it all. Later on that evening Kevin and Crystal and I went to pick up Jillian, a girl we went to high school with, and came back to the bar to hang out for a little longer. Some time around midnight we left, dropped off Jilian and drove back to the D.C. area. We then dropped Crystal off and headed home.

This morning, I woke up and couldn't speak; it would appear my cold has taken a turn for the worse, so I'm not going to work today. I also haven't run in a few days, on account of my cold. I want so very much to be healthy again, so I'm going to sleep all day.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

3 posts in 3 days? Don't get used to it.

Yesterday I went running after work. I have had a sore throat and an on again/off again mild headache, so running may not have been the best idea. I don't feel that much different today and I've been eating a lot of zinc cough drops which are supposed to help with colds, so I'll probably continue running until I really feel like crap. Running has been great incentive to not smoke. I tried to quit on New Years but that didn't last. It's funny; I managed to quit smoking pot but not tobacco. Anyway, it's been a while since I've had one and I'm feeling a lot better. Just in general, I feel more alert, articulate, happy, and in better shape than a few weeks ago. Now all I have to do is start eating better and going to the gym to lift weights, and my brother won't stand a chance when we fight this summer. For those of you whom I haven't told: my brother is taking weight training this year, and after he graduates he wants to "throw down." Now, I'm 5 years older than him and haven't had much trouble keeping him down in the past, but he is getting stronger and now I am starting to worry. Still, I think I'll have better technique than him. Plus I will be intimidating since I've always been able to beat him up. Either way, this should be interesting.

Monday, March 14, 2005

Closure

This is going to be another short post. I told Nina we needed to talk face to face and she came down tonight so we could do it. I had a lot I had planned to say, and said very little of it. It's what I expected to happen; I usually get nervous doing stuff like this and forget a lot of the things I had planned, so at least I remembered a little: the important stuff. We walked around the neighborhood because I didn't want to do it in the house. I wanted some place that was neutral, and wandering around felt good. I'm not getting into details because I honestly can't remember a lot of them, but the summary is: it just didn't work. No rebound, no deception, at least not in large portions. It just wasn't going anywhere. I agree that it wasn't really anything serious by the time she broke it off, but I would have been fine keeping at it. She didn't want to do that, which I guess is well in her right, and it's good she did it before I actually got attached. So it's back to being friends, only this time with a hint of awkwardness and uncertainty, with no hurt feelings. Hopefully something will happen to make things comfortable like they were before, but I'm not sure what that would be other than just the slowly passing time.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Weekend goodness

First, to wrap up old stuff. I'm not upset Nina left me. I'm pissed she ever dated me. I feel like she used me as a rebound, and that's not something you do to friends without at least telling them first.

Thursday night Kevin comes over to watch the softcore porn he got for his birthday: "The Kama Sutra." This thing is rated R and despite a little nudity, sucked both as a film and as porn. I learn some things from my friends later about theories as to what Nina thought was going on while we were "dating" or whatever, which pissed me off, but like I said above, I'm not upset. Just disappointed.

Friday night we all went out to Santa Fe. Tim, Parker, Paul, Kevin, Crystal, and Shari and I got a table near the entrance, opposite the stage, but the music was still so loud we had to lean in and yell to understand each other. Karen, Nina, and some of Karen's friends went to Corner Stone and everybody had a good time except Nina, who wanted to go to Santa Fe but was prevented by Karen. It sucks, but it happens. Turns out Crystal went to college (in the real Santa Fe) with a good friend of Karen's who comes to parties time to time. Small world. I learned a lot about what people actually though of me in high school, as opposed to what I thought they thought about me, particularly my ass, but also me as a person in general. No wonder my self esteem has had such a troubled history. People say bad things about me to me as a joke. I am not quick to pick up on these things. We left and went to Wawa to get food, because drunk people like food. While in line a couple barely dressed girls tried rubbing their breasts up against me and dropping things in front of me, but Crystal (and unintentionally Parker, who wasn't aware of this at the time) were giving them dirty looks and Crystal was pulling me away from them. I was hardly aware that any of this was happening, but not completely oblivious. We went back to the house and despite my previous rule that my bed not be used to host parties, everybody piled in. My bed is comfortable, they say. Eventually Tim and Parker go to bed, and I just lay in bed with Crystal and Shari with Kevin and Paul sitting at the foot. Karen comes home and hops in, and we all probably annoy the housemates across the hall with how loud we're being. No, nothing like that, just sitting around talking. Eventually Kevin sobers up and takes Crystal and Shari home, then comes back and goes to bed.

Saturday morning Tim, Parker, Kevin and I go up to Savage Mills to look at a townhouse. We liked it a lot, and want to move in this Summer very much. I hope we get it. Tim will probably post pictures of it eventually, if he hasn't already, but if we get it we will throw a party when we move in and all you can see it in real life. 3 stories, 3 and 1/2 baths, 4 bedrooms, a couple living areas, deck, woods/field/high-voltage-powerlines behind the house. It was well decorated when we saw it, but I'm sure our ugly furniture will detract from the architectural pleasantries of the place. We drive around the area a little, and it looks nice. Howard County, if you're curious, just south of where 32 hits 95. Later, after we get lunch and go back to the house and Kevin leaves to go do stuff, Tim and Paul and I go for a run. I've been running about 3 1/2 miles every day this week, walking for one stretch of road maybe an eighth of a mile long a couple miles in to cool off, and Tim didn't think he could do it. Motivated to not lag behind, or to prove he's a big man, or something, he kept up the whole time, even on the half mile hill at the end that gets steeper and steeper the closer you get to the top that usually kills me. So that's good. We hang out some before going up to Columbia Mall (yeah, I know, going to a mall on a Saturday Night is lame middle school stuff, but we were just getting dinner with Parker who works there for the time being. We go to Parkers house later that night and watch Donny Darko, which I had been wanting to see, and liked it very much. Kevin and Karen came up to watch too. Went back to the house in Karen's car, and we bitched about some stuff. Went to bed.

Got up this morning intending to run before going to my parents for breakfast, but decided to sleep in instead. I still got home before breakfast, and got to hang out with Becky who is almost always in another state/country going to school or working in some national park, and Jeremy, who is almost always there. We had bagels, salmon, and whitefish (whatever that is, i'm not sure, but I didn't have any so it's okay that I'm unclear as to it's source,) if you're curious. You're not, are you. Too late, you read it. I came home at around 2 and went for what is becoming my daily run to, around, and back from lake Artemisia (sp?). I then ripped my new Modest Mouse CD "Building Nothing Out Of Something" and listened to it. And it was good. Then, I decided to post to my blog, and actually write something. Now, I am finishing it, staring at the monitor, waiting to go up to Duclaw up in Arundel Mills with Paul, Tim, and Parker. I'll talk to you all later.

It's starting to feel like Spring, both in the weather and in my head. This makes me happy.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

3 months gone

short post, Ninas gone. Apparently she wasn't ever there. I'll be fine eventually, it's just the shock from being rejected (you'd think I'd be used to this sort of thing by now) from a relationship I thought was going somewhere. I hope we manage to stay friends since most of our friends are the same people. For the time being, however, I am going to be hurt, bitter, and avoiding her so I don't act like a jerk. We all know it's in me.