I can't take credit for this...

...but I can post it in my blog. My dad just sent me this email; and I think I saw something like this on the West Wing once.

Subject: Dear Mr. Bush

Dear Mr President,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you propose and support a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage. As you have said, "in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man and a woman." I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination.... End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?


2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?


3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness - Leviticus 15:19-24. The problem is how to tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense. Some have slapped me.


4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Leviticus 1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?


5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?


6. A friend of mine feels even though eating shellfish is an abomination in the eyes of the Lord - Leviticus 11:10, that it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there degrees of abomination?


7. Leviticus 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?


8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Leviticus 19:27. How should they die?


9. I know from Leviticus 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?


10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Leviticus 9:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Leviticus 24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Leviticus 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.


"Patriotism means to stand by the country, it does not mean to stand by the President or any other public official...."
President Theodore Roosevelt

Nothing to see here

Man am I bored. It's not that I don't have anything to do; I have books I'm reading, classes to study for, and some side projects I'm working on with the hopes of making shit loads of money selling to the NSA. It's just that nothing really excites me anymore. This political season has left a sour taste in my mouth, so I don't feel like really following it (but I do anyway.) I don't know what I want at this point, and I'm tired of not really wanting anything. Complacency is soothing, but like Tim said, you have to want things to have excitement. So that's what I want. Excitement. Is there somewhere I can place an order?

I'm planing on volunteering for Habitat for Humanity at some point before spring. I have to figure out what things I'd be good at (apparently it isn't all hammering) and fill out the application. Assuming they work weekends, which I'm assuming they do since it's a volunteer based organization and most people need real jobs, it will give me something to do in my free time.

I've started really thinking about grad school, and I've narrowed it down to a few fields. I still like architecture, and building houses will probably increase my desire to design them. I'm also looking into meteorology (not broadcast meteorology), because honestly, who doesn't like staring at clouds? All I know at this point is that I don't want to program for a living. Don't get me wrong, I like programming, its just seems trivial lately. Maybe it's just my job. I would still like to be able to solve problems with computers, and architecture and meteorology both use computers to model things. Either way, if I don't get a job I enjoy at NASA or USGS or NOAA or some respectable company, I'll just go back to school. Then, if I still can't get a job I like, I'll teach. If I have to be miserable, at least I can pass it on to the next generation.

My laptop broke. I've been waiting for this to happen since I heard about an issue with the line of iBooks mine came from (the logic board, to be percise.) So now I have to mail my computer to Apple and have them fix it. The good thing is that if the problem is what I think it is, they'll fix it and handle shipping for free. If not, I could wind up paying through the nose. I hate computers, and if they weren't so damn efficient I wouldn't have anything to do with them.

This was kindof a downer post. Not entirely, just more than usual. I'm going to go do something fun.

Fantastic

Man am I glad that's over. Now I can go back to not paying attention to what the government's doing until, 3 years from now, they advertise while I'm watching my scripted reality TV. That's the great thing about democracy, you don't have to do shit. Just sit back, and let those in charge make the important decisions. That's why they're there, so you don't need to think about what's good for you. It's not so bad that the rich people have a lot of say in the government; they already have what they need, so I'm sure they have everybody else's interest at heart. Could you imagine if the impoverished were given power? They'd be all "gimme food", "gimme medicine", "at least let me sleep on the park benches". Greedy bastards; they should learn from the rich. The rich obviously know the way the system should be used; they made it. And if I hear one more complaint about dead Iraqis, I'm going to fucking loose it. They're not Americans, so our government doesn't need to care about them, and since this fine government is "for the people, by the people", you too don't need to worry about them. And nobody can complain about not having a job. The U.S. military will provide every able-bodied american with a job for life. Man, some people just don't get it.

Seriously, though, we're all doomed. My only suggestion is for every liberal to fuck like bunnies, with a member of the opposite sex of course (not to be biggoted, but homosexual sex doesn't produce babies; they can adopt, or at least they should be able to), and raise your kids right so that maybe 18 years from now we'll be able to change things (in congress at least, 20 years for the president). Assuming we make it that long.