Ponies

So on my way to work this morning I hear a rhythmic fapping sound. It's tempo is directly correlated to my cars speed. I have a flat tire.

I pull over, get out, and it's my rear-right tire. Ok, I can do this... go to the trunk. Shit, it's a mess, and the board covering my spare and the tools is covered in stuff I should throw away, and the board is stuck to boot. I should clean out my car. Anyway, I pry the board out and get the tools. After taking off the wheel cover, I loosen the nuts. It's much easier to get the nuts off than I expected it to be; last time I had to jump on the wrench to get some of the nuts to come loose, but this time it's like some bad analogy involving hoola hoops and traffic cones... I haven't lost you, have I? I jack up the car, and pull off the tire. Well, that was the plan at least. The tire doesn't budge. All the nuts are off, but it feels like someone welded my wheel to the hub. I put all my weight into it, and still nada. I pick up the phone and call AAA.

After maybe 20 minutes the guy shows up, on the opposite side of the building I'm next to, and I direct him over. He gets there, can't do anything about the stuck wheel, so he gets this green slime in a bucket and pumps some of it into my tire. This is supposed to seal the hole. He then pumps up the tire and it keeps its pressure. Hoo-ahh. Since this is only a temporary fix, I have to take it to a service station and get it done right, so I drive up Rt. 1 to the nearest station, where the mechanic is out. I'm told he'll be back in a half hour, so I figure screw it, I'll just go to the next one up the road. There, the mechanic is there but won't get to it for a while. I'm asked if I can leave the car there. I don't want to deal with any of that... I just want my car fixed... so I drive back to the 1st station and wait.

There's a guy there trying to get his car inspected, and we chat a little waiting for the mechanic. Some other guy (not the mechanic?) starts inspecting this guys car, and I sit... and wait... it's almost noon now. Eventually the mechanic is there and tells me to pull my car up. I drive it over to where he told me and he comes to take a look. First, he notices that my front-left tire is wearing out badly (the inner-tread is gone) so my alignment is probably off. After taking off the nuts from my back tire, and whacking the thing with a sledge hammer (I wonder if that's also bad for my alignment?), the tire falls off. The spare gets put on, and I get to work. I'm going to keep a sledge hammer in my trunk from now on in case this happens again. That, and road-side street-fighting (road-side-fighting doesn't sound as cool.)

I'm taking my car to the Amoco station in Colesville tonight. I think it's a BP now, but I'm still going to call it the Colesville Amoco. I need a couple new tires, my alignment checked, and a general tune up. I also think some belt in my car is wearing out and should be replaced because whenever I drive the car I remember being told by a mechanic some time ago that a belt will need to be replaced soon. What? Did you think I could actually tell that kind of thing based on how the car drives? Hell, I still think there're little ponies under the hood. I'm guessing the belts are there to keep the ponies pants on. Why ponies have to wear pants while powering an automobile, I'll never know: I don't know much about cars anyway.